Wednesday, June 23, 2010


                       Crazy little monster.                      

Today, we're visiting the Australian outback to encounter an odd red vampire called the Yara-ma-yha-who. He comes from Aboriginal folklore, and is not easily missed with his large head and big toothless mouth. "Wait!" you ask. "How can he drain blood if he has no teeth?" This is a good question easily answered by the logical realization he drains blood through the suckers on his hands and feet. Dracula, with his tired old biting technique, obviously has nothing on the Yara-ma-yha-who.  

Picture by Stevyn Colgan

The Yara-ma-yha-who's approach includes no active hunting, but only stealthy concealment within branches of fig trees. When a tired traveller sits beneath the shade, the sneaky vampire drops down and quickly sucks their blood through ninble fingers and toes. Fortunately, he has no interest in killing his victims, only wanting them weakened to finish his weird culinary ritual. When the victim is feeble enough, Yara-ma-yha-who opens his huge mouth as far as it can open, and swallows the person whole. After eating, he drinks water (victim swallowing can make a guy thirsty) and takes a nap. This is good, since napping is always considered wise by all the best experts. Upon waking, the strangest part of an already strange story begins. The vampire suddenly regurgitates his victim, not only rendering them a bit smaller than before, but with a vague reddish tint. 
This one is extra hungry.
Artwork by Michael Slack

The story of the Yara-ma-yha-who is told to small children in danger of wandering away. "If you roam too far," parents say, "the Yara-ma-yha-who will suck your blood and swallow you whole." I'm surprised they leave the house at all! Naturally, some people are slow learners and find themselves gobbled up more then once. When this happens, the repeat victims get smaller and smaller and redder and redder until becoming a Yara-ma-yha-who themselves. So when in Australia, tell your children not to rest under trees. If the dingoes don't get them, the Yara-ma-yha-who will.


  1. Ok, that is just bizarre - regurgitating part... the swallowing part is pretty mundane.

  2. Yes, there aren't that many vampires with bulimia nervosa.