Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Squonk

In the hemlock forests of northern Pennsylvania can be found a "fearsome critter" called the Squonk. Like the Axehandle Hound, there's nothing very fearsome about this sad little beastie. It's wrinkled skin and many warts may provoke a cringe or two, but no screams of terror. 

The Squonk is a shy creature who hides to conceal the wrinkled skin and warts found ugly. Thinking itself hideous, it sniffles and cries constantly, dreading the occasional passerby who may point and laugh. Strangely, its loose and bumpy skin is held in high regard by some, inspiring hunters to track and capture the unhappy animal. Though tracking the Squonk is a simple matter of following the tear saturated gound, actually catching the weeper is much more difficult. When cornered, the Squonk sobs and blubbers until completely dissolving into a pool of salty liquid. 

One man, named J.P. Wentling, succeeded in catching a Squonk by mimicking its sobbing and miserable howling. Stuffing the creature into a bag, he ran off with his prize until noticing the bagged burden suddenly lightened. Peering inside, he discovered all remaining was some liquid and nothing more. His cleverly captured Squonk had melted away to a mess of tears.

If you'd like to try your hand at catching the elusive Squonk, it's said chilly nights slow its flow of tears, and discourage its traveling among the hemlock forests. As its habitat has sadly shrunken, finding the elusive beastie may prove more difficult than ever. Be sure to take many tissues.


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