Monday, May 24, 2010

Splinter Cat

One legendary beastie found over much of North America is the Splinter Cat. This terrifying kitty is about as large as a Bobcat with a strong muscular neck, a broad head containing nothing of any consequence, and a bony skull plate that's harder than a Ram's horn. It also has an unfortunate propensity towards nasty headaches. The headaches are caused by its method of hunting tasty chipmunks, squirrels and opossums in the thick mountain forests it calls home. Since the little dinner morsels tend to hide in tree hollows, the Splinter Cat climbs a neighboring tree, and hurls itself head-first into the marked tree's trunk. It will hurl itself over and over until the poor tree is nothing but a mass of splinters, and the meal is captured and consumed. After eating, the strange kitty takes a nap, partly because it's full, and partly to sleep off its splitting headache. As Splinter Cats are nocturnal, you probably won't see one during daytime forest walks. But if you do, remember its terrible headaches cause a perpetual foul mood, and may require your hasty retreat from the area. This is especially true during mating season, when the males show off by destroying as many trees as possible in a frenzied display of strength. In a note of caution, if you should meet a Splinter Cat, DO NOT hold still, but jump around shouting while spinning your arms like a windmill. This is so the Splinter Cat won't confuse you with a squirrel containing tree, and try to split you open. 


The obvious result of a Splinter Cat attack.


  1. Hi :) you have a very interesting blog!
    I love this stories, keep blogging!

  2. Too funny. I have never heard this legend.